Pets and New Babies

So you've done everything you need in preparing to bring home your new baby.  You have the nursery decorated, the layette, have chosen a name and decided whether to breastfeed or bottle feed.  One thing you may have forgotten is Fluffy and Rover... your pets.

Up until now, your pets have probably been your "babies" and gotten most of your attention, they are used to being the king or queen of the house (my cat owns our house, she just lets us live here).  Pets are a very important part of your household, a part of your family.  How will they react to a new member of the family getting all of the attention that they once received?  Will they be jealous?  Will they become unsociable?  It is very hard to say as each animal has a different personality, much like people.  The following are a couple points that may give you some insight and tips for coping with your baby and your pet.

One of the myths I have heard from numerous sources is that cats will be very jealous and try to smother a baby when they are sleeping.  Also, that they will suck a baby's breath away.  I have heard that this is just a myth, but I wasn't taking any chances, so the following are a couple precautions to consider:

• Keeping your pet out of the nursery while your baby is sleeping or unattended,  having to close the baby's door or lock up the dog or cat is a concern for many new parents.  This could have easily been resolved by baby monitors, but I still felt like I was shutting the baby out.  Installing an inexpensive screen door to the nursery is a good way to resolve the problem.  Paint the screen door  the same color as the trim and decorate it with baby motif.  You can get very creative.  This also makes a great conversation piece to anyone visiting your home.
  
• Let your pet smell your baby and your baby's belongings.  By brushing away the dog or cat every time your pet comes near your new baby can make the pet resentful.  Your pet may resort to bad habits as a result of feeling unwanted and jealous.
  
• Some have said to get a pet while your baby is young. They have felt in doing this your child and pet can grow up together and it will help to minimize jealousy.  My opinion is that if you do not have a pet already, try to refrain from getting one until your baby is older.  Keep in mind that puppies and kittens have very sharp little claws and teeth and while they mean no harm, they want to play and accidents happen.  Also, puppies and kittens can be very active and demand a lot of attention in training.  Consider whether you want to spend the time training the puppy or kitten or spend that time with your newborn.
  
• Most important, do not leave your newborn unattended with a pet until you see how the pet reacts.  
  
  
   Our family survived the pet and baby dilemma, yours can too.

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Children and Play

I am often amazed thinking about how some children seem to “learn” to play.  Before I became a parent, my conception of children at play was simple and perhaps stereotypical.  I imagined the ideal; my child would one day sit and play with his toys, enjoying the different tasks each one presented.

Playing should be easy.  Playing would be fun.  I have since learned that, for many children, the concept of play is by far innate.  Many, including my daughter, require assistance developing the imagination and ability to explore playtime and enjoy it as it should be enjoyed.  The following article summarizes how parents can lead their children along the journey of playtime and also provides some examples of techniques I have found useful while raising and playing with my daughter, now two years old.
Imitation is crucial while developing the skills necessary for play.  This is perhaps the simplest statement that can be made concerning children and play.  Children learn language by listening to others.  Tying a shoe is learned when a youngster is shown the process.  Play is no different.  It is important for caregivers to tune into the kinds of play that their child prefers and shape it accordingly through imitation.  For example, my daughter could live without anything bought on a toy store shelf.  Give her a copper pot and a spoon and she is an instant “chef”.  A broom in hand and laundry basket nearby makes her a maid.  Calculators, writing tools and paper make her “Daddy’s little girl” (a.k.a. an Accountant).  Interestingly enough, she was not taught how to use any of these common household devices in their correct manner.  However, they soon became her preferred method of play.  Realizing this came after she watched and watched and imitated her parents – playing at the same time.  It sounds elementary.  But it took my husband and I several months to stop buying as many manufactured toys and start accepting the fact that our daughter preferred to play by watching her parents, hence imitating.

Group play can be quite challenging for some children (and parents).  I first became a member of a local “playgroup” when my daughter was 11 months old.  I was thrilled because I was able to socialize with other mothers while the children played.  This was indeed the case during the initial meetings, as the children (all without siblings) learned what it was like to be grouped with others their age.  During this phase, the children hovered close to their parent and did not perform much interaction.   As the weeks progressed and the children grew a bit older, the playgroup gatherings displayed less signs of “Mommy talk time” as more attempts at “playtime” were made.  Group play, like individual play, does not come natural for all children.  Toddlers, for example, are too young to grasp the concept of sharing.  Add a strong willed toddler (as my daughter is) to a group play setting, and what may be viewed as a disaster can arise.  Thankfully, our playgroup consisted of mothers who had a lot in common – including the compassion necessary to console a parent when a certain level of parental stress was visible.  One important tip that may aid during group play may be to become conscious and not view the gathering as only social time for the parents.  Conversation with adults is needed and rewarding, but children need to be guided through playtime and it is important that they are not left to “teach each other” in a group setting.  Suggesting that at least one parent stay directly with the children – getting involved with the activities – will allow for more that just supervision, it will direct them and provide them with a model to imitate throughout their play date.

A creative parent teaches incredible things.  When it came time to teach my daughter how to play, I found myself struggling to “make up” appropriate games and situations that kept her stimulated.  Now that she is two, I look back and realize that I put too much stress on myself during this time.  One must always remember that, in many cases, children are seeing things for the first time.  Even if this is not the case, children seem to have a magical way of transforming what may be seen to an adult as dull or tedious into something fascinating and challenging.  I remember seeing my daughter’s face when I filled our kitchen sink with bubbles one day and gave her a cup so that she could “scoop ice cream”.  She was not only in awe of the bubbles (one of her favorite things), but also amazed at the fact that this was her operation; she was in charge.  I personally encourage the use of creative dress, drawing devices and homemade ice cream (i.e. bubbles) during playtime.  Your child may amaze you with his interpretation of what you present. 

You need to go with the flow.  Children develop unique strategies for play based on many things.  The techniques they choose to imitate and adopt and their own individual personalities are two factors at play (no pun intended).  My daughter has recently entered a phase where her concept of play is based largely around clothing and her ability to master the art of dressing.  I admit, using several articles of clothing a day can cause parental frustration (not to mention a lot of laundry) and there have been many occasions where I have wanted to put a lock on my daughter’s bureau drawers.  But this is her idea of play.  And if you look at the notion closely, you can see a little girl becoming many things - independent, imaginative and thought seeking above all.

In a world where child development often seems to pass in the blink of an eye, it is important to allow children to be children and encourage them to develop their own ideas and concepts regarding play.  Through the guidance and imitation of their caregivers, children can develop approaches to playtime that will satisfy their needs and allow them to develop individuality.  Fun, exploration, education and play – it’s what childhood is all about!

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Play With Your Children Get Down (On The Floor!) And

When was the last time you and your kids rolled around on the floor together laughing yourselves silly?  If you're like me, it may have been a while. 

Sometimes I get caught up in household chores, give errands a priority or answer the phone when I know I should let it ring instead of making time for my two daughters.  It's not that I don't play with them; just the opposite is true. It simply seems as if I'm trying to fit them into my daily schedule when in fact I should be scheduling my day around them. I used to be a planner.  I would try to organize activities that I thought my girls would learn something from.  I'm now much more free and spontaneous with them and I've discovered that at their respective ages of four and 20 months that this is the type of play they prefer.
Here are some suggestions on how you can be more spontaneous with your children:

• Play "Chase Around The House" -  Kids love to be chased, especially if you're making a roaring or growling noise while you're doing it.  You'd be surprised how fast their little legs can carry them. This exercise is sure get you're heart rate up and tone your glutes as well!
    
• Have a Pillow Fight - Make sure the pillows are small and not too heavy.  Throw cushions work best for this activity.  Lay a few ground rules, such as not hitting in the face or on the head and when somebody yells: "stop", then stop.
    
• How Many Times Can Each of You Hop on One Foot - Again, a great cardiovascular activity for you and the kids.  Alternate feet and vary the directions you're hopping in. This is good for your children's coordination and learning left and right, forwards and backwards.
    
• Pretend You're Animals- Play a guessing game of what animal Sally is by the sounds she makes and the way she moves.  Children love to imitate animals and can imitate various animals from a young age.
    
• Tickle Each Other - When you've run out of ideas, then a good old-fashioned tickle fight is the answer.  Again, don't tickle too hard and when someone (possibly you!) yells stop, then the tickler must stop.  At our house, this game always ends with kisses!

These activities take little time to play and benefit you and your children greatly.  They are highly interactive, involve a lot of laughter and take no preparation.  They also let your children know that you enjoy being with them and that they make great playmates.

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